Hemorrhoids and Death
People look at pregnant ladies.
It’s weird.
Now, years ago, when I spent a lot of time clubbing and whatnot, I dressed in a way that got that sort of attention. That “you know you’re being looked at” attention.
Of course, this is involuntary. The belly… it’s just OUT THERE. People, total strangers, ask questions. How far along? Boy or girl? Is it your first?
No one has tried to touch me yet, which is a good thing, ‘cause they could lose an arm.
And, while I feel that I’ve reached monumental proportions, people keep guessing, “5, 6 months?”
Which I suppose is better than random assholes asking if I’m having twins or stating that I look like I’m “ready to pop.”
And, some much older woman today gushed about how much she loved being pregnant. I nodded politely, but honestly, my brain was going, “Yeah, right, lady. You might have liked being young and sprightly enough to be pregnant, but does anyone really whole-heartedly adore being at vastly increased risk for hemorrhoids and death?” Sure, feeling the kicks and stuff is pretty cool, but honestly the whole process is more “surreal” than “total bliss.”
But, I’ve heard that one repeatedly—that women loved being pregnant—loved being the center of that “walk in the room” attention.
Personally, I prefer the “putting it all out there deliberately” version. This wholesome pregnancy attention is a little freaky.
I think of it as the year an alien took over my body. Eating foods I !HATE! to fits of psychotic barfing, lost ankles and stolen sleep.
— Sam Aug 23, 09:26 PM #
Well, I still have my ankles.
— Veronica Aug 23, 11:34 PM #
OMG, I hate-hate-hated being pregnant. Especially the last month when I felt like my pelvis was going to crack and I walked like I was trying to hold a watermelon between my knees.
Wait until the strangers are squealing over and trying to put their germy hands all over your child.
— Vanessa Aug 24, 03:29 PM #
there are different levels of attention, i guess. when my friend jay was pregnant, some really old guy wondered aloud if it would be rude of him to ask for “a taste” of her milk. after that, i think jay was fine with the regular looks and comments… anything that wasn’t utterly depraved.
— sam Aug 24, 04:02 PM #
OMG! NO!
— Veronica Aug 24, 07:04 PM #
I’m a practicing old guy, but if I were ever to say something that stupid, I would deserve to get my ass kicked.
— CGHill Aug 24, 07:29 PM #
Like, how old does one have to be to get exempt from ass-kicking?
— Veronica Aug 25, 03:47 PM #
I love that picture. you look great.
at 4 months I’m already getting touched by everyone. friends, neighbors, total strangers. eugh.
maybe they’re going through some kind of weird ritual honoring fertility or something, so I try not to take it personal. but I don’t like it. I keep waiting for the little parasite to kick or punch the offending hand offame. but no luck so far. goddamnit.
— antiprincess Aug 25, 05:58 PM #
Pregnancy was the only time I was mentally stable without medication, so I tended to love it.It was also the only time my gimpy hip would behave. I told my doctor if I could find a way to be 5 mos preg 100% of the time I’d do it in a minute. Alas, tho, they don’t encourage that. However, as for people touching me…no. I would screech and jump back when anyone tried that. A late-term story- my midwife said as you approach your due date, carry a jar of pickles everywhere, then if your water breaks someplace public you can drop the pickles, the vinegar will mask the amnionic fluid smell, and no one ever questions why a pregnant woman would have pickles.
— Rootietoot Aug 26, 07:58 AM #
Yes, you are beautiful.
Teachable moment: remember, people with disabilities put up with this constantly. When I was out with my ex, we got it every single day. I used to get furious, and he didn’t know why; he’d put up with it since his childhood and he accepted their nosiness and intrusions.
When I was pregnant, hated the extra attention. It just seemed unseemly to me, somehow, and probably because I was dealing with both (excessive attention to him and excessive attention to me) at the same time…
— Daisy Aug 26, 12:07 PM #
true Story:
A friend of mine, now preggers with her third child, had huge issue with the touching of the belly by strangers thing…it blew her mind that strangers figured they had a right to violate her space like that, ESPECIALLY when pregnant. So, one day after this had happened a few times, a woman touched her belly (a stranger-woman), and my friend pinched her ass. The woman was offended as hell. The friend let her know that’s what she equated belly rubs too.
I said she shoulda given the woman a purple nurple instead.
— RenegadeEvolution Aug 26, 10:58 PM #
I experienced that at a “pregnancy yoga” class. Not only was it a crappy workout, with more loving womynly chanting than actual exercise, but there was a lot of womynly touching involved. eg forming a bridge with half the women on one side and half on the other, with arms upraised. Then one of the women on the end would run thru the bridge touching everyone’s tummies. Hated it! But everyone else seemed really into into it. Never went back. Glad to hear I’m not just some bizarro unfriendly person.
And you do look really beautiful.
— Octogalore Aug 30, 06:59 PM #
Oh, I’ve got personal space boundaries that I take very seriously.
— Veronica Aug 30, 08:35 PM #
Ren, I’m totally doing that the next time a stranger feels the need to pet my hair.
Also, I’ve heard that gasping, saying you’re not pregnant, and pretending to cry works well. I’m just not that good of an actor.
— Vanessa Sep 1, 10:28 PM #