Thirteen
I read something earlier, bitching about “teenagers” this and “teenagers” that.
I really hated that as a teenager.
This was taken on my 13th birthday. As you can see, I’m totally scary and out of control, destined for an episode of Montel.
Heh.
I remember all of my adult relatives groaning. “Oh, she’s turning thirteen. Now the hard part starts.” I was really insulted by it. I snapped at my father, “Is that permission to start being bad? I might as well be bad. You all expect it of me.”
I was a supremely serious kid at that age. I had a lot of reasons to be supremely serious.
I wonder if other kids got that routine. If they still do. Suddenly, there you are, with your family making fun of you. Oh, no, the dreaded 13 is upon us. And, if you react badly to the teasing, you just prove them all correct, right?
8th grade graduation, complete with teased bangs.
Some people do flip out at that age. After me—the 9th grader that was quiet and reserved to the point of dour and depressing on occasion, the one who’s wild side came out so overdue, there was actually mild applause when if finally arrived, my mom landed in hot water. My sister did go nuts.
“Is that permission to start being bad? I might as well be bad. You all expect it of me.”
And, no one knew what to do.
So, really… no one did anything.
Then, my brother was another relatively easy one.
So, really, puberty is a crapshoot. Some folks end up living out some lame Holly Hunter movie. And, some don’t. But, honestly, most don’t. And, who knows how much of the stupidity is based on expectations. After 11 or so, nearly everything you do that your parents don’t like gets blamed on your age. It’s a really lousy dynamic.
Maybe there’d be less drama overall, if the Teen Mythos, which so far as I can tell is mostly a media invention, weren’t quite so all-encompassing.
tags: childhood, pictures
As the parent of 3 teenagers (19,17,16) I’ll take this age over toddlerhood any day. Teens, if you treat them like the humans that they are and not like some great albatross around your neck, respond well. Sure, my kids have their moments of stupidity, but it’s inexperience, and I can’t fault them for that. ALl you have to do is talk to them like they’re your intellectual equal, and they’ll do backflips for you.
— rootietoot Jul 16, 03:17 PM #
Girl, you have no e-mail on here. E-mail me?
— Trance Jul 17, 06:53 AM #
I emailed you.
— Veronica Jul 18, 11:30 AM #
I DID live the Holly Hunter movie, so keep that in mind. ;)
Rootietoot: As the parent of 3 teenagers (19,17,16) I’ll take this age over toddlerhood any day. Teens, if you treat them like the humans that they are and not like some great albatross around your neck, respond well.
Not always. Especially if other influences seem to conspire against all your good efforts.
BTW, your photos are so cute!!! You were adorable.
— Daisy Jul 19, 10:29 AM #
Daisy- you’re right to a degree. I have one son who has gone his very own way- drugs, drinking, the whole parental nightmare. Yet, he’s still respectful, he still works and supports himself, and still acts like the human being we expect him to be. I know there are kids who break their parent’s hearts no matter how hard the parents try to do things right. But there are alot of parents who expect their teens to behave badly, and it turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy. I could quote an irritating Bible verse about parental expectations and reward, but I won’t :o)
— rootietoot Jul 19, 11:05 AM #
Yeah, rootie toot. I have to admit my wayward child from the Holly Hunter movie has turned out to be a pretty good person.
My concern at the time was simply that she might not LIVE THROUGH being a teenager.
— Daisy Jul 19, 01:03 PM #
Great post. I have 3 teenagers too (19, 17, 14) and damn. It’s a lot of … well, a lot of everything. Work, frustration, heartbreak, joy, the whole gamut. I’ve had some rough patches with mine, but am extraordinarily fortunate in that all 3 of my kids are on the right track and excelling. I mean, sure, their dirty socks on the floor work my last nerve, but with the important stuff, they kick ASS. I’m very thankful for that.
Anyway, thanks for the reminder on their perspective.
— more cowbell Jul 19, 01:25 PM #
‘My concern at the time was simply that she might not LIVE THROUGH being a teenager.’
I hear you there. Sleepless nights because your kid’s been gone for 3 days and the police blow you off…not pretty. Somehow, I know not how, most of them survive to become useful adults.
— Rootietoot Jul 20, 07:19 PM #