Baby Stuff
I suck at asking for things.
I’m not particularly good at buying things for myself, either, but I can’t stand stating what I want for gifts.
I honestly have no idea where this tendency in my personality comes from. I know that I was like this at 16, because my boyfriend at the time complained about it. But, I also remember making up Christmas lists as a kid. So, clearly, something went wonky between losing my two front teeth and getting my driver’s license.
Anyway, I’m all looking through target.com earlier, trying to put together a registry, because when you have a baby, people, particularly relatives, want to buy you cute little baby things.
I suck at asking for things.
Seriously.
When did I get this cheap?!
It’s not that I don’t see stuff that I might want to possess. It’s that I have pretty much shut down the “wanting to possess” urge to such a degree that I’m actually the kind of person that is satisfied looking at the donuts in the bakery at the grocery store. I don’t have eat one. I just wanna see them. And, while that ability is probably really good for my cholesterol level, it still seems sort of ascetic and uncalled for. And, so it goes with all sorts of things. I don’t mind looking at stuff I can’t have, mostly because I run around assuming I can’t have most things.
And, I’m cheap. Seriously. I’ve got a make do/do without complex from hell. I shut off air vents and put up blankets to get the maximum impact out of our air conditioning. The first time I tried those tactics with roommates, I got a raise eyebrow and an “I think the crops will all come in this year, Ma.” I find ways to make meals out of what my husband describes as “nothing to eat.” I’ll do mac and cheese with water and oil, if that’s what we’ve got. I don’t need ice. I stretch out soap. I feel guilty when I let the water run while brushing my teeth.
I am female, in my 20’s, in the United States, and I’ve got exactly one pair of dress shoes, one pair of functional sneakers, and one pair of sandals. The sneakers are brand name, because I tend to wear them for 5 years straight. Until the lining comes out.
I am thrifty.
Or, pathological.
So, I’m looking through the baby stuff on the Target website, and thinking “Do I really need that?” And, while I’m not a baby expert, I do have a pretty good grip on the fact that the baby doesn’t need it’s own towels, no matter how cute the soft terry ones with the hoodies look. Our towels will dry the baby just fine. The baby does not need much. Mostly, it’s going to need it’s parents to stay sane. But, I’ve got relatives that want to buy stuff—that have requested a registry.
I so suck at this shit.
I look through the sleepers and stuff, and think, “You can get a whole lot on ebay for the price of just a few of these little suckers.” So, I’m basically feeling pre-emptively, that my mother in law or aunts or whatever spending 8 bucks on onesies for my own kid is an unnecessary expense.
I suck at this.
The truth of the matter is that I have expensive taste. That’s been pretty constant. The stuff that I like best is usually out of the question for one reason or another—or at least, I’ve convinced myself that it is. So, I just go for whatever is cheapest. I’ve just gotten really, really good at “cheapest.” And, I usually only buy stuff I think I need. So, when it comes to gift-giving, I feel like it’s awful to ask for something I couldn’t justify buying myself. And, I end up with a gift registry that’s got 4 whole items on it.
Do I sound as neurotic as I feel? ‘Cause I feel pretty fucking neurotic.
At least I don’t have any credit card debt.
tags: personal problems, pregnancy
Have people buy you diapers, in all sizes. More in the larger sizes than newborn/size 1.
Onesies in all sizes. Even the jumbo fits-a-4-year-old.
A super-duper water-proof mattress cover. One with layers.
Bottles and nipples. Unless you plan on breastfeeding. Then I recommend hydrocodiene for yourself. Makes the boobs hurt less, makes it harder on the baby to steal your sleep.
Even if you do breastfeed, you’ll also want a nipple/ring dishwasher container thingie. Nipples go up top, rings, caps go below, fits into the dishwasher. Later, sippy cup lids, pieces, etc go into it.
One of those neat-o thermometers. Either the ear-instant temperature, or the forehead wand.
A Diaper genie-like diaper disposal unit. Try to get one that is hermetically sealed, and uses one trash bag instead if individual bags for every diaper. I had one that kind of reminded me of the Ghostbuster’s ghost holding tank.
A baby monitor. So you can not just hear the baby, but catch broadcasts from Mel Gibson’s aliens.
A diaper bag.
Infant bath tub.
A shitload of “layettes”. Good for keeping them warm, sans blankets. Also better contains “shit-up-the-back”, that lovely gravity defying super-poop thing they do.
An umbrella stroller.
A plastic high chair that you can hose off in the yard or bathtub and wash the cover in the machine.
A convertable car seat. Starts off backwards and angled for little babies, and eventually makes it face-front for the toddler years. It is teh suck to have to buy a new carseat once the baby is out of the baby-carrier carseat stage.
— Sam Jul 14, 08:55 AM #
If people ask what you want, that means they want to give you something. Best to tell them what you want and get what you want than say “Oh you don’t have to get me anything” because you’d be denying them the opportunity to be generous. Plus they might get you something gawd-awful.
— rootietoot Jul 14, 03:42 PM #
If you’re tall, you may want to consider asking for a godawful expensive stroller, too. The cheaper ones, while cheap, are designed for people of a certain height—the same height, I think, that the Standard Coach Airline Traveler is. I’m six feet tall and pushing babies around in cheap-ass strollers is nightmarish. Seriously. This is not something to scrimp on. Get a good one; you’ll be spending a lot of time with it.
— Moira Jul 15, 02:34 PM #
Do you happen to have any Scottish ancestors? The thrift thing is pretty much a pathology in my homeland even among people who are very wealthy. My Dad still does it sometimes and he hasn’t needed to worry about money for 30 years.
I, alas, did not inherit the thrift gene. I got the Hedonism-bot one instead, much to the chargrin of my family.
BTW, when’s the baby due?
— CassandraSays Jul 16, 08:00 PM #
All the above! Great information and suggestions that I hope you take. Love Ya.
— Tamara Elliott Jul 18, 01:17 PM #
I’m late to the party, but girl, I am so there with you. I really struggle with any type of assistance from anyone. My friends give me shit about it, but that’s just how I am.
Great suggestions above, especially Sam (excellent!) and Moira. I’m “only” 5’9”, and strollers usually were not tall enough. And she’s right, even without the “tall factor”, a cheap stroller is just NOT worth it. Don’t go cheap on stroller or carseat. Oh, and Onesies over t-shirts, always. t-shirts will be rolled up in their armpits in no time.
— more cowbell Jul 18, 01:31 PM #
PS I actually would consider a few of the baby-fine terry towels—I thought they were silly too, but someone gave me one, and I used it all the time, and even bought a couple more.
— more cowbell Jul 18, 01:34 PM #