Genuine Bono Stigmata
I hate Bono. I have for years. However, occasionally my hate is renewed.
In some crowds, Bono Hate is frowned upon. I’ve had a couple of roommates over the years that were Gen-U-Ine U2 Fans. I know people that actually call the dude in the stupid hat “The Edge” without wincing (his actual name, btw, is David Evans.)
Now, I’m not gonna deny that I like some old U2 songs. But, Achtung Baby came out 17 years ago. My goodwill ran out some time around the Pop album. “Beautiful Day” makes me wanna throw frat boys into a pit of rabid poodles.
Bono sucks.
You know it’s true.
Mr. Humanitarian is a tax evader, too.
Ew.
He and Sting, man.
Can’t you just see those two, in expensive designer sunglasses on some tropical beach, verbally fellating each other and discussing their own wondrous greatness?
“I really do think we’re the last of the great rock stars,” say Sting.
“Fuck yeah,” Bono replies. “We’re a dying breed man. We have vision.”
“Yeah, that’s what these kids lack—vision. That’s why they need us.”
“Yeah, visions of a world where everyone knows how generous and self-actualized we are. And, like, they’re inspired by how awesome we are, and they all become better people for it.”
“That’s what we’re giving people—better versions of themselves. It’s the least we can do.”
“Being so blessed and all.”
“We should call Oprah. Let people know about the charity work we’re doing with our new albums. ”
“Totally.”
tags: music
I have to admit, Sting kind of creeps me out.
— Amber Jul 11, 10:50 PM #
By the way…
“But, Achtung Baby came out 17 years ago.”
Thanks for making me feel OLD!
— Amber Jul 11, 10:51 PM #
Yeah, I think the issue is that Sting doesn’t blink enough. Like, watch him in an interview—he blinks at a third of the normal rate, like some sort of lizard.
And, yeah. 1990. I sort of did a "17? Really?" when I looked it up.
— Veronica Jul 12, 08:50 AM #
Do you prefer right wing rock stars?
Not sure I get it, sorry. Guess I’m too old.
— Daisy Jul 12, 10:52 AM #
That first link, reminded me of a toned down GWD post
— Sam Jul 12, 11:35 AM #
talk about being too old? to me, anything recorded after 1979 is “that new fangled punk stuff”. give me the beatles and pink floyd.
— nexyjo Jul 12, 11:37 AM #
Sam—but there wasn’t anything in there about the UN making us into Tax Slaves, or the Gubberment keeping secret alien technologies!
— Veronica Jul 12, 01:39 PM #
Daisy—My problem with Bono (and Sting) isn’t with the politics. It’s the hypocritical egomania.
That said, do they make right-wing rock stars?
— Veronica Jul 12, 01:44 PM #
Ted Nugent.
And everyone is still arguing about Iggy Pop :)
— Daisy Jul 12, 10:38 PM #
What about Iggy Pop?
— Veronica Jul 13, 08:44 PM #
I’m going to use old school cyber acro for this: ROTFLMAO
— AradhanaD Jul 15, 01:47 PM #
I kind of hate him too. Not in an intense way – he’s too boring – but in a “dammit does he ever shut up, the pretentious twat?” way. He and Sting are made for each other, really.
The sad thing is that once upon a time they both had talent, but that was before they dived headlong into their own navels.
— CassandraSays Jul 16, 07:54 PM #
i like a lot more of Sting’s music than I do Bono. haven’t really paid much attention to Sting unplugged. Bono’s kind of impossible to avoid these days, which is why i loathe him.
and i think the only U2 song i ever liked was “Sunday Bloody Sunday.”
— belledame222 Jul 17, 12:33 AM #
What about Iggy Pop?
Is he right or left wing? People have been arguing for years about it, like 30 years.
— Daisy Jul 18, 10:26 AM #