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The Ladies Man

Resuming Manly Week...

The last manly entry was about performing masculinity for other dudes—being a man’s man.

But, there’s always that other guy… the ladies man.

The phrase “ladies man” has some goober connotations these days, having been replaced with “player,” but the seducer archetype is older than the leisure suit.

Of course, there are two types of ladies man.

There’s the guy that’s just got the natural charisma, gives off the right pheromones, whatever—he’s just got a knack for saying the right thing and taking the right cues. Some people have a talent of music, or math, or art; some have a talent for social success. But, a man that’s “too” successful talking to women is usually not a man’s man. He’s a man with a strange talent, having some sort of insight into the female mind that can only mean he’s suspect in some way, usually, that he’s a latent homosexual (despite all evidence to the contrary, and despite the fact that there’s more than just a little hyper-masculinity in the gay community.)

Then there’s that other guy. The one who collects techniques, who hones his “game.” Some of these dudes are quite good at what they do, too. And, some are the cheese-tastic weirdos that scare women at bars. But, both of them are out to “score.”

The guys that use sleazy pick up lines, and the dorks in the “Seduction Community.” The ridiculous SNL character Tim Meadows played, and the creepy, greasy haired seminar host Tom Cruise played in Magnolia.

Or, as someone named Jeff Diehl puts it:

That’s right, you too can hypnotize hot babes and lure them to your lair where they will service your every sexual desire. Just follow the instructions of self-titled “Chairman of the Broads,” Ross Jeffries, founder of the method known as Speed Seduction, and you’ll have women obeying your every command. Disclaimer: Speed Seduction and Ross Jeffries are not liable for impotence or sexual rejection.

Sans disclaimer, that’s the gist of the marketing hype offered by Mr. Jeffries, and it’s a brilliant idea: Neuro-linguistic programming applied to the problem of getting laid. Be cocky, irreverent, funny, and a little profane (but safely unattractive), and you’ve got a recipe for success.

Neuro-linguistic programming is a scientific-sounding term for the kind of thing that gets sold as “The Secret” and “The Laws of Attraction” these days.

NLP calls each individual’s perception of the world their ‘map’. NLP teaches that our mind-body (neuro) and what we say (language) all interact together to form our perceptions of the world, or maps (programming). Each person’s map of the world determines feelings and behavior. Therefore, impoverished – and unrealistic – maps can restrict choices and result in problems.

The Jeffries technique, which was the inspiration for Cruise’s Magnolia character, btw, runs something like this:

Sentence example: “Standing on the hill, I could see the river twinkling *below me.
8” According to Jeffries, the words “below me” could be unconsciously interpreted as an embedded command to “blow me”. Especially, if at the point those words were spoken, you spread your hands palms up with fingers pointing down at the crotch area.

Um. Yeah. The wikipedia entry for the seduction community is hilarious in it’s own way, too.

Anyway, nueromaps and attempted hypnosis aside, there are men out there that love women, and there are men out there that love women’s parts (like Laura’s blow up doll guy.)

In the end, one’s motivation for being a Ladies Man comes down to homosocial inclinations. Is a man interested in women because he’s interested in women? Or, is he interested in women because his ability to get some out of the “hot chick” will impress his buddies?