Grindhouse
I fucking hated Kill Bill. And, I hated Sin City. We’re talking about two movies that disgusted me so much, I wanted my money back. I wanted to take my time out of Tarantino’s cocaine-addled ass. I wanted to spit on Frank Miller and throw a tomato at Rodriguez.
They’re really disgusting, leery, sleazy pieces of total fucking garbage, in my opinion.
And, my irritation is doubly compounded by the fact that these two bozo assclowns had talent once upon a time. But, like, their hugely inflated egos have blinded them to the fact that they’re floggin the corpses of their own prior glory.
‘Cause “corpse flogging” is the only possible justification for unleashing something like Rose McGowan, in what I can only assume is a Kegel-triggered machine gun prosthesis, rocketing herself into the air with a grenade launcher, so she can twirl around and shoot at explosions.
So, yeah, this whole barrage of Grindhouse marketing is getting on my damned nerves.
It’s not even that I’m down on the 70’s Genre Homage.
It’s just that Tarantino has already proven he sucks at it. When someone like Rob Zombie nails an aesthetic you’ve been trying for years to accomplish, and you’re supposed to be the biggest director of your generation, it’s entirely possible that perhaps… just maybe… you’re not cut out for homage.
I mean… Am I the only one that finds Tarantino personally repellent in interviews? The twitching? The darting weasel eyes? The enthusiasm for shit he’s just never gonna be able to do, because, yo, time travel isn’t possible. Can’t someone just sit his ass down and explain to him that he’s never going to be Jack Hill? Or, John Waters? Or, even John Carpenter?
He had his own thing going, and he was good at it. He made movies that, in their own way, defined the 90’s. And, instead he’d rather copy the 70’s… badly.
Rodriguez? Well, it doesn’t make my teeth grind to see him on screen. So, that’s a plus. And, we’re talking about a person with kids named Racer, Rocket and Rebel. He’s weird. But, it’s not the affected, put-on, irritating weirdness of Tarantino. And, my disgust with Tarantino is so all-encompassing that I actually blame Rodriguez’s missteps on him. Rodriguez is never so unbearably horrific as he is when he’s working with Tarantino. Ya know how some guys have that friend from back in the day, that shows up for the weekend occasionally and magically transforms said dude into an asshole? That’s what it looks like with them.
So… we won’t be seeing Grindhouse.
In the theatres.
It’ll probably get NetFlixed.
tags: movies
I won’t even be Netflixing it.
I HATED Sin city. It’s one of only a tiny handful of movies that I didn’t watch all the way through. I think Mr Cassandra and I managed less than half an hour, and he’s a straight dude who likes women with big boobs and comics, ie the intended audience. And even then I was in a bad mood all evening, and he said “I feel like I need a shower”. I’m so glad I’m not the only person who hated that movie…
Kill Bill was just boring. Tedious, derivative, a hundred and one Hong Kong directors already made better versions of the same movie. A big yawn. Except that you know the girl in the Japanese schoolgirl outfit? He cast her because of her role in Battle Royale, in which she was death in a miniskirt. He thought it was cool – raved about it. Thing is, in Battle Royale they actually explained WHY she was so violent – she was an abused child. The fact that he used her the way he did in Kill Bill after that…either he’s a complete creep or he’s so clueless he didn’t get the message. And I agree, the overall vibe is “skeevy bastard I wouldn’t want to get stuck talking to at a party”. He creeps me out in interviews big time – there’s something disconcertingly rodent-like about him. Not to mention the fact that much as he loves his source material I’m fairly sure he doesn’t actually get most of it on a fundamnetal level. He’s copying the style without grokking the substance.
And it’s not about the violence – I actually liked the Rob Zombie flick. I like horror movies in general, blood doesn’t bother me, it was the underlying tone that skeeved me out.
— CassandraSays Mar 26, 07:22 PM #
…either he’s a complete creep or he’s so clueless he didn’t get the message
As far as I can tell, that’s a yes on both counts. I don’t know how Uma Thurman puts up with his sniveling ass at all, seeing as he’s got such a naked obsession with her.
Shudder.
And, yeah… it was all tone. Sin City. Jesus. Words fail. I do know that most of my problem with it is Frank Miller’s fault. He hates women. It’s like if Bukowski wrote comics.
— Veronica Mar 26, 07:33 PM #
>I mean… Am I the only one that finds Tarantino personally repellent in interviews? >
no. actually, you can cut the last two words there.
i’m sure it says something about both of them that he was Jane Hamsher’s particular “find,” although i’m not sure exactly what that something is, or at least if i’m bothered to articulate it right now.
— belledame222 Mar 26, 08:23 PM #
“It’s like if Bukowski wrote comics.” – Yeah. When a straight guy says “damn, this guy really hates women” about 5 minutes into it then it’s pretty obvious, you know? And people raved about that piece of shit. Because it was “artistic” – actually that could apply to Bukowski, too.
I remain astounded that Uma Thurman hasn’t taken out a restraining order against him. The obsession is a little disturbing. And Mira Sorvino dated that guy. Was she high the whole time?
Belle – OK, dumb question – Who is Jane Hamsher?
— CassandraSays Mar 26, 08:35 PM #
Wow… I can’t think of anything you said in this post that I agree with.
I’m not going to be an apologist for Sin City or Kill Bill (although if I was going to, I’d defend Kill Bill), but I truly don’t feel that Tarantino (or Rodriguez for that matter, but I’m less attached to him to work up enough passion to defend him) have failed at the retro-70’s homage they’ve been doing.Because, frankly, I’ve never viewed them as homage: I’ve viewed them as reinventions.
But I think, mostly, it’s because I sort of feel for Tarantino. Here’s a guy who, right out of the gate, made arguably two fo the greatest films of all time (certainly two of the most influential films) and he knows that everything he does from here on out will be viewed through the lens of Resevoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction. It’s difficult to make one of those movies, but to be under the constant pressure to one-up THOSE films is damn near impossible for anyone.
So, in the mean time, he does what he knows and excels at. He takes the films he grew up on and retools them for a modern (read: younger) audiences. Who could blame him, really? He experiments with the things he’s done really really well in the pass to help make them more definitively his (in much the same way that Scorcese has throughout his career).
That being said, I sure do wish that he’d go back to telling stories again. He does border on becoming a shadow of himself because he hasn’t done anything new. It just may be possible that he doesn’t have another unique story in him.
— Dylan Mar 26, 08:48 PM #
They are the ones that said it’s supposed to be homage. It’s not like I pulled the term out of my ass.
— Veronica Mar 26, 08:52 PM #
Isn’t Jane Hamsher a blogger?
— Veronica Mar 26, 08:53 PM #
And, actually, Dylan, I’m not buying that at all. The thing that makes Resevoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction classic is the script—the kind of dialog that would NEVER in a million years show up in the likes of Coffy or The Great Escape. Go through Pulp Fiction and watch specifically for the phrases that creeped into common usage so thoroughly that 13 years later, you don’t even remember that he’s the source. It’s nuts.
It’s not that he can’t reach those heights, again. It’s that he hasn’t tried. He’s not shuddering under the weight of his own former genius. He’s 1.) got a fucking drug problem. And, 2.) he’s decided that “bad assness” can be entirely generated using special effects and breasts.
— Veronica Mar 26, 09:14 PM #
Hamsher=firedoglake
— belledame222 Mar 26, 10:09 PM #
My point about the homages (homagi?) is that they do more than mere homage, generally.
And if you’d been asked after Pulp Fiction if you’d be surprised to find that he never did anything else at that level, would you really have been surprised?
— Dylan Mar 27, 12:06 AM #
But, you’re right… he probably does have a drug problem, and it wouldn’t surprise me that he has a drug problem.
Oh! I’m just saying it’s unsurprising that he might retreat to the technical side of things (and the business side of things as well, with production companies and the like) until he, A) Has an critically acclaimed comeback which cements his place in American cinema (a la Gus Van Zant) or, B) Drifts off into obscurity. To me, the both seem equally as likely.
— Dylan Mar 27, 12:09 AM #
So… you’re saying that it’s “unsurprising” that he sucks? Or, that he doesn’t suck?
And, even tossing “homage” in favor of “reinvention,” I still say he’s not reinventing. He’s imitating. Badly.
— Veronica Mar 27, 12:34 AM #
I enjoyed “Kill Bill,” but absolutely HATED “Sin City.” In fact, I didn’t think I’d be able to make it through the latter.
Meanwhile, I’m torn on “The Grindhouse.” I like Tarantino’s work, but “Death Proof” looks a little too goofy even for my taste. As for “Planet Terror,” I really love a good zombie movie, but I’m not sure if I trust Robert Rodriguez to deliver one.
I’m sure I’ll see it in the theater (out of morbid curiosity if nothing else), but I’m not expecting the next “Pulp Fiction” by any stretch of the imagination.
— Jess Mar 27, 07:46 AM #
I’m saying that it’s unsurprising that he hasn’t lived up to Pulp Fiction and Resevoir Dogs, but that he hasn’t sucked.
— Dylan Mar 27, 09:45 AM #
Yeah, Tarantino is Man of Slime, but slime that manages to crawl all over you and assault you just because you were forced to look at his face.
My (now former!) bro-in-law worships him, and he’s a creepy, weedy little fucker too.
Didn’t much like Kill Bill, didn’t like Sin City at all. Not least because of the truly atrocious script.
— Andrea Mar 27, 11:00 AM #
Cassandra> I can’t believe you besmirched Battle Royale by bringing it up in combination with Quentin Man of Slime.
— Andrea Mar 27, 11:02 AM #
Jess—At least the “fake previews” looked pretty entertaining. My main concern about theater-viewing would be length. That’s just over 3 hours of “supposed to be bad” cinema. I mean, it's one thing to sit through an hour of MST3K, but... 3 hours of it? Without robots?
— Veronica Mar 27, 11:42 AM #
My (now former!) bro-in-law worships him, and he’s a creepy, weedy little fucker too.
Heh. Nothing like a Tarantino fanboy. “No, no! It’s genius, see! She’s blonde! And, she fights an Asian Chick! With a sword! 'Cause it's about vengeance man!”
I think in a way, I'm just never, ever forgiving Tarantino for that blow dart. Ever.
— Veronica Mar 27, 11:53 AM #
He (ole quentin)blew his artistic wad 13 years ago and has done nothing but suck since then. Oddly enough, Rodriguez also tapped out all his creativity 13 years ago (sorry, george clooney in a mexican whore house full of vampires does NOT qualify as creative).
This may very well be their Alamo.
An Alamo that contains a machine gun prosthetic and what appears to be as much story line as tweeker trying to explain why he’s buying so much cold medicine.
Some forts were meant to fall.
— Jeoff Mar 27, 04:00 PM #
***EDIT: I see Rodriguez has already started Sin City 2 and announced Sin City 3. He has already failed as a human being.
— Jeoff Mar 27, 04:10 PM #
Andrea – No, HE usurped Battle Royale by casting the same girl in his “ooh look I’m a sexy schoolgirl! Who beats people up!” role.
The book’s better than the movie, by the way.
Don’t even get me started on the Tarantino fanboys…
On zombie movies, it’s terribly silly but I loved Sean of the Dead. Especially his Mum’s line about the zombies being “A bit bitey”.
— CassandraSays Mar 27, 06:23 PM #
And by usurped I actually mean besmirched. Trying to do too many things at once.
Tarantino’s not smart enough to actually usurp anything, at least since he started sticking things up his nose.
— CassandraSays Mar 27, 06:30 PM #
Sean of the dead was great….and…
I liked Sin City…
(runs for cover)
— RenegadeEvolution Mar 27, 06:58 PM #
What about the ‘five point palm exploding heart technique’ (I kept trying to write ‘exploding hand’ then instead)!
Slime Man besmirches humanity with his very existence. Bleugh.
— Andrea Mar 28, 05:15 AM #
And he makes the world an uglier place. Not with his films, but by walking around with that head.
— Andrea Mar 28, 05:21 AM #
i did like Sean of the Dead.
— belledame222 Mar 28, 09:59 AM #
The Sean of the Dead director has a new one out, spoofing cop movies. He also supposedly did a “fake preview” for Grindhouse. So, if it’s contagious, that guy might suck soon, too.
— Veronica Mar 28, 10:42 AM #
Let’s hope the suckiness isn’t catching.
Andrea – much as I hate to pick on people for their looks (she says with her fingers crossed behind her back), yes. I say we paper bag him.
Did you ever see that interview he did with Jet Li where His Sliminess was fanboying all over the place and Li was being very polite but every once in a while you would catch this “you are a complete idiot” expression on his face? It was priceless…Li was trying so hard to be nice and tolerant and shit, but there’s a limit to the extent one can control one’s facial expressions, even for an actor.
— CassandraSays Mar 28, 04:23 PM #
HA! There’s footage of him and Bruce Willis out there, where Willis looks like he’s barely able to keep from strangling the guy. You can see Bruce thinking, "Shut up, shut up, shut up."
— Veronica Mar 28, 04:35 PM #
I prescribe masking tape applied to the mouth. I’m kind of surprised no disgruntled co-worker has tried it yet. It would hide part of the face too. It’s a win/win solution!
— CassandraSays Mar 28, 05:29 PM #
okay, if BRUCE WILLIS thinks you’re too obnoxious…
— belledame222 Mar 28, 09:01 PM #
I liked these movies. Go fig. Roman Polanski fucked a 13 yr old and then fled the country, but people love ‘The Pianist’. For the record I do find Quentin T. annoying in interviews, but otherwise his movies don’t bother me. I also found Sin City to be very good noir/satire. And ok, even if you hated the movie…tell me Elijah Woods wasn’t creepy.
— David Mar 29, 03:56 PM #
Elijah Wood wasn’t creepy. He was a sad imitation of creepy and an excellent example of lousy casting.
— Veronica Mar 29, 06:31 PM #
I appreciated Sin City – mostly the technology of it. But I loved this post.
— plain(s) feminist Mar 29, 11:21 PM #
I despise Tarintino. I just can’t…why would anyone think he’s a good director? I don’t get it. He skeeves me out. Everytime I hear him talk, I just wanna punch him in the mouth….grr….
— Zan Mar 30, 03:48 PM #