I Hate February
No, really. I do.
It’s cold. It’s short, so your monthly budget is always a little bit short. There’s that whole horrible Valentine thing.
The only good thing about February is that my little brother’s birthday happened this month. He’s old enough to drink legally, as of yesterday.
Other than that, though, this month sucks. I’m tired of winter. I’m just sick of the short days.
I am easily annoyed about trivial things.
So, we’ve been watching tons of bad movies. The kind of movies that are so bad they are good. I highly suggest the following Bad Movies to anyone with a case of the winter blahs, mostly because they make everything else seem like a high-quality experience:
Orca: The Killer Whale
Imagine everything that can go wrong with a movie about Orcan Revenge. Then add a Native American and Bo Derek. It’s like if Free Willie had been written by a traumatized coke addict in a leisure suit.
Escape from L.A.
Admittedly, I’m a sucker for John Carpenter. They’re all pretty bad, but I don’t care. His movies are joyously bad. They’re bad having a party. And, L.A. is the worst. Indescribably bad. Mind-bogglingly bad. Perfectly bad. Call him Snake.
Battlefield Earth
We all know the reputation this one has… but you do actually have to see it to believe it. It’s not just the gaping plot holes. Or, the psuedo-religion cult connections. It’s the sheer bizarre cluelessness. I mean, you get done with this cinematic experience, and you just sit there, disorented, wondering how something like that really exists.
That choice of movies is beyond horrible.
I have to disagree with you on February. I love love love it. I like the whole every four years is leap year, George Washington’s birthday is my birthday and I have fond memories of my father always making the connection, plus the same day is shared by Steve Irwin, the late Crocodile Hunter. I don’t have to deal with the snow but I know I would and could, and will eventually, it is sort of like the storm before the beauty of spring, new life, birth etc. I love it. Summer is a different story, so bloody hot and gritty at times. Also I could give two straws about Valentine’s Day, ack, so there are no worries there.
Take care my friend, it will be over soon, after all there is only what, 14 days left.
— chasingmoksha Feb 13, 10:15 PM #
into Ken Russell at all? that’s some seriously spectacular bad.
or of course: Ed Wood, but that’s almost too obvious.
classic Really Bad: “Showgirls.” i wouldn’t spend the money on renting it, and it is pretty fucking hateful as well, but, well, there are…moments. of sheer giddy horridness.
oo! or, i’ve heard tell! “The Postman.” You know, the Kevin Costner post apocalyptic-cum-Fed-Ex flick? that looked some GENIUS bad.
— belledame222 Feb 14, 09:13 AM #
I don’t like February either. It’s warm, but too early to plant anything. It’s a month of do-nothing.
— rootietoot Feb 14, 12:22 PM #
OH, man… speaking of Costner… 3000 Miles to Graceland. Genius bad. It includes a scorpion that bites a scorpion tattoo. On it’s stinger.
Awesome.
— Veronica Feb 14, 12:34 PM #
And, good point Moksha… at least it’s a short month. I could be hating on like… August.
— Veronica Feb 14, 12:35 PM #
i hate feb too… but then when it’s over your like—- wahhh what happened I’m already in march and still haven’t done all the things you said you would start on jan 1st.
— AradhanaD Feb 14, 12:39 PM #
That is easily remedied by considering yourself loftily “above” the making of New Year’s Resolutions.
— Veronica Feb 14, 03:52 PM #
exactly.
i generally hate August too, here in NY at least, which kind of bites on account of it’s my birthday month. and i used to love summer when i was a kid, for obvious reasons and also i didn’t live in a fucking armpit, weather-wise.
but i’m kind of hating right now, too, gotta say.
well, i’m sick and homebound more or less, and feeling stir crazy, so that doesn’t help.
meh.
it’s also grey and slushy, often. well right now the sky is really pretty, but we’ve just had our first real snowfall (i guess that in itself is a mercy) and getting around is gonna be eccch till it melts, which won’t be for a while.
— belledame222 Feb 15, 02:33 PM #
Found your page via Nashville Is Talking and your spot-on comments about Campfield’s lunatic proposal for legislation.
That said, you sure picked a fine bunch of Bad Movies. I admit to watching Battlefield Earth a few times to marvel at its awfulness. Loved your description of Orca.
Let me suggest another Pioneeer of Bad Movies – director Uwe Boll and his movie “Alone in the Dark.” Christian Slater is a “paranormal detective” and I have yet to be able to follow the movie all the way to the end. And Tara Reid as a scientist?? A gem of terrible moviemaking.
— Joe P. Feb 15, 02:38 PM #
OMG. Have to see it. Tara Reid and Christian Slater? I am so there.
— Veronica Feb 15, 03:35 PM #